1. Season the roast with garlic salt, salt and pepper.
2. Pre-heat your oven to 500 degrees then…
3. turn it down to 475 degrees and cook your roast for 21 minutes. Then…
4. you turn off the oven and leave it there for 2 and a half hours.

Mine turned out tender and juicy and delicious!! (TIP: use a good, sharp knife so your meat doesn’t seem tough.)

Heat up a can of your favorite green beans and a box of rice pilaf as sides and Viola! Dinner is served! (I like Near East brand rice pilaf)

Some great tips to help make getting healthy meals on the table a snap! I talk about cooking 6 meals in one day to serve for the whole week, double-baggin a second portion, freezing techniques, using Press N Seal, Reynolds Wrap, Ziplock containers and more!

One of my very least favorite things to do is assemble an artificial Christmas tree. The tightly wound steel wire ends shoot out like unassuming razor barbs waiting for me to run the palms of my bare hands down to release the “branches” into full, pine bloom. With each branch, more and more fake needles fall to the floor like winter’s first forest-green snowfall adding the extra duty of pulling out the vacuum when I’m done. Someday, all that will be left of the tree will be a pitiful, Charlie Brown, wire skeleton in the shape of a 7-foot-tall triangle.

Once it resembles an actual tree, I have to jam fists full of lights into it every two feet spiraling upward to the top. In the end, my hands and arms look as if I’ve helped Chino State Prison replace 100 miles of barbed wire fencing with no gloves on.

This weekend, while at Big Lots getting Barbie dolls and Matchbox cars for our favorite restaurant’s Toy Drive box, I happened upon a sale that actually made me rubber-neck and turn around for another look. It was an “easy assemble”, 7′ spruce with lights already attached! “Magnificant!” (I actually said the word aloud.) The best part, it was only $49.99. I doubled back to get a better look but by the time I got through the throngs of moms with kids and carts and stockroom boxes filling the aisles I noticed a man with his fingers locked behind the yellow packing band of the last tree on the rack. He was on the phone telling his wife, “The other store was out but I got the last one at this Big Lots”. I know it was his wife because no man in his right mind would call another man or a co-worker or even his parents and announce that he was spending his Sunday afternoon shopping the local Big Lots stores for the last $50 Christmas tree.

“My tree will last another year or so.” I thought as I made my way back up to the register where my wife and daughter were waiting.

As I stood there I started to run down everything I would have to do to make my house all “Christmas’y”. The mental notes started to pile up and, for some odd reason, I started to become very tired. 1) Bring the plastic totes in from the garage with all the decorations. Scratch that… 1) Move everything in the garage that’s in the way OUT OF THE WAY so I can first gain access to the totes with all the Christmas decorations. 2) Bring the totes in from the garage. 3) Arrange the containers for easiest access in order of importance. I know said “order of importance” because I’ve been a married man for a very long time and fully understand the chaos that disorganized containers can create. 4) Drag the oblong tree box into the house. 5)… 6)… 7)… The list went on and on. I was starting to get pretty stressed out when I looked over and saw my girls standing by an end cap near the “stocking stuffers”.

My 12-year-old was gazing longingly at eye shadow gift sets while my wife gingerly arranged small, ceramic figurines in a cotton-laden Christmas town display. My wife was mumbling something and when I made out what she was saying I realized she was singing along to the Christmas music being broadcast throughout the store. Then, my daughter made her way around the shelf to the dolls and smiled as she inspected the latest included fashion accessories. “Oooo… this one has a pretty dress.” she said to no one in particular.

Okay, so I’m a sucker for my girls. I am powerless in the face of their unintentional sweetness. It’s all I needed to remember why I drag that horrible, monster of a tree and 400 pounds of other decorations from the garage each year. Right there, in that overly packed and obnoxiously loud discount store I had my “Christmas moment”. Last year my Christmas moment didn’t happen until my wife forcibly dragged me out to look at the colorful strands of lights a bunch of guys had stapled to the eaves of their houses. The year before, not until Christmas morning. Why it usually takes me some time before I can get into the spirit of the season is beyond me. Until I notice what it means to my family, I just see it as, well, a pain in my ass.

For my wife, it seems to happen the moment Halloween is over and the TV commercials start to air. For her, the season means family and baking and laughter and providing thoughtful gifts for our children and giving. For my daughter, it means hopes and dreams and magic.

So there we were, buying these toys and it hit me… like a ton of glittery, green and red, Christmas bricks. My heart sank as I thought of all the fathers who will put these gifts under their little girls’ trees. I imagined their trees. Will they be big and beautiful like mine or will they even be able to afford one? If they had my tree, would they be thankful or dwell on why it sucks to have to put it together. I felt like an ass.

I didn’t let on to my wife what I was feeling. When I got home, I wasted no time in getting our tree assembled. Once it was done, I plugged in the light strands, turned off all the other lights and we all watched a movie together. And I was thankful for my tree.

I wish I could say I’m the picture perfect example of the Christmas spirit right now but I’m not. It’s not my style to run around with bells on my shoes or a wreath on the front of my car. What I am feeling, though, is the spirit of giving, love and togetherness. I’m looking forward to the older kids coming home from college for some much needed family-around-the-table bonding, laughing and eating my wife’s delicious, home-cooked meals. On Christmas morning, we’ll all clutch large cups of hot coffee (even the 12-year-old) and be blessed enough to be able to gather around the tree to exchange gifts. Our big, wonderful, Christmas tree.

Happy Holidays!

Debi talks about her Albertsons grocery shopping trip where she used her Albertsons stamp book and got 2 Thomas Rosenthal Cookware pieces for 2 pennies!

Kevin Nealon gives Debi some Christmas shopping advice from the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. November 30th, 2010

Debi is approached by this hip, 20-something guy who had just seen her perform at The Laugh Factory in Hollywood. He says, “That was hilarious. Her act cracked me up dude!”

Thanks, Laugh Factory Guy!!

I get you! I know you don’t have the time and energy to buy all these ingredients, prep them and drop them into 6 other little bowls you have to wash! Now, I love my family and go to lengths to make them a wonderful dish now and then, but most evenings you’ll find me rushed and trying to get dinner on the table before the natives get restless!

It starts with a can…Here is a simple and easy recipe for a hearty autumn soup your whole family will love and it will not only be a staple for Halloween and football game nights, it is a dish company will love.

It is a pasta and bean soup but you can call it what you like. We refer to it as bean soup but it’s really called Pasta Fagioli (fa-jol) I know Giada has a much more complicated recipe, but I know your time and budget can be limited. Keep the ingredients in your pantry and you will always be ready. Another great tip is to buy these items when they are on sale! I stock up when Albertson’s has the 10 for $1.00 sale going!

Please note, I don’t always give exact measurements; I cook like you! Eye ball measurements and add to taste. The Food Network chefs always serve their food to a fun group of family and friends and you can too if you abandon guilt and expectations, keep it simple and skip to the fun part of enjoying your family!

Bean and Pasta Soup

Level: easy
Cost: amazingly budget friendly
Clean up: easy

Ingredients:

• 2 cans canneli beans *(white kidney beans)
• 2 cans chicken stock
• 1 large can of chopped tomatoes flavored with garlic, basil and oregano.
• 1 small brown onion
• 2 cloves of garlic
• leftover ham or 4 slices of bacon or salt pork…whatever you have on hand!
• olive oil
• small sized pasta (salad macaroni or small shells, even alphabet pasta is a fun choice!)

Instructions:

1. In your soup pot, saute chopped garlic, onion and leftover ham or bacon in olive oil.
2. Rinse beans and add beans, chicken stock, tomatoes and about a cup and 1/2 of water.
3. Add salt and pepper to taste. (I add a few crushed red pepper flakes)
4. Bring to a slow boil, reduce heat and add about 3/4 cup of uncooked pasta.
5. Let this soup slowly simmer for about an hour.

Tips:

Be careful when adding pasta; keep in mind it can as much as double in size.
Serving tips: serve with a loaf of fresh baked bread always avail at the front of the store, canned bisquits, or corned bread.
Shopping tips: buy chopped tomatoes already flavored with herbs for quick and easy italian or mexican meals!  These tomatoes usually go on sale when the plain ones do.
Cooking tips: Cube and freeze those last few slices of ham from your next holiday dinner for this dish.

Debi talks about her Albertsons grocery shopping trip where she saved $115! She uses coupons, re-usable bags and CASH to get the most out of her trip! She also explains Albertsons’ cookware stamp book and how to get quality pots or pans for just 1 penny!!

Learn more about Albertsons here: www.albertsons.com

This year, my husband was in the kitchen when I was in my cooking frenzy. He watched as I poured two bowls of cranberry sauce and held one into the air. “This one,” I announced, “is for us”. He shrugged his shoulders and said “OK”. He was completely underwhelmed. He stole some shredded cheese from my bowl and said very casually, “I don’t like cranberry sauce”.

I have been feeding this man for over 17 years. I thought back to all the Thanksgiving dinners we have celebrated together. I mentally pictured his plate: no yams, no green bean casserole, no lime jello, double serving of stuffing and a turkey leg and, yes… my cranberry sauce!

“But you eat it every year! ” I was floored.

Every year since our daughters could reach the stove, we have made the sauce. Sometimes we make a fancy one with orange zest and nuts, but we always have one bowl of the original. It was so wonderful to see our little girl proudly place a dish she made on her grandmother’s table and listen to the compliments from family members.

“I only eat it because you make it.” he said as he casually ate more shredded cheese.

“But you don’t eat all the other food you don’t like. You don’t eat yams or jello and will pass up dessert completely if there is only pumpkin pie”. I really was confused.

“Yes, but you don’t make any of that.” he answered, stole more cheese and then went back to his office.

This was a learning moment for me. It was a lesson about the language of love spoken by a husband and father. You see, when a man speaks his language of love, it rarely includes words. A man’s language of love come from actions.

Every Thanksgiving, my husband must have watched me and one of our daughters making a simple cranberry sauce over the stove, put it into a crystal dish and set it on my mom’s Thanksgiving table. All these years, I thought he never really noticed or cared. But he had. Even though he never liked cranberries, he knew his wife and daughter would be watching to see who would eat what they had prepared. He always took a good sized serving and complimented us in front of everyone.

I love this about my husband. Even though he is a vet having served with the Marine Corps, this simple action every Thanksgiving makes him my hero. He would never want his wife’s or daughter’s dish to go untouched.

His language of love is there and I must remember to watch for the actions, which, after all, speak much louder than words.

On her way to a show in Thousand Oaks, Debi gives some encouraging words for friends and fans to support local businesses on “Small Business Saturday”. (November 27th, 2010)

Fiamme – www.fiammerestaurant.com
Fringe Salon Covina www.fringesaloncovina.com

Debi Gutierrez wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Netflix – www.netflix.com // Roku – www.roku.com

We women bolt around our homes and offices with lightening speed. We rarely stroll through a mall and often even grocery shopping is done a few days at a time; either due to budget or poor planning. Generally we have eaten breakfast. lunch or dinner, in our car, walking to or from the car, or while we sit at a computer, as we multi-tasked to tend to home, kids, husband or work. Even at my beloved prayer group, when women get together in the morning to pray for their families, we watch the clock. Our day ends and we still feel as if we haven’t given our families, friends, work, let alone ourselves enough time and attention and we vow to do better tomorrow.

My husband, like most men, can turn it off at the end of the day. He can shut the door to his office and unplug his phone and sit on the couch and watch television and zone out. Me, like most women, can’t. My mind is still spinning as I feel myself wind up again.

We try to unwind and turn on the television only to hear about a downward spiraling economy, political pundits battling it out over what they feel is beneficial for me, or “news” stories about Eva Longoria divorcing her husband who apparently cheated on her with her friend.

I feel the crying jag begin again. It is such an outburst of emotion saying “I am done, I am spent, I can’t think about being responsible one more minute. Rather than expose my husband to another unexplainable crying spell, I get up and go to my room. I switch on the t.v. but I avoid network dramas. local news and reality shows. I flip through the channels to The Food Network. Yes, the Food Network and settle into a comfortable chair and actually sigh with relief as I see Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa looking directly at me as she calmly and patiently explains to meet how to make the perfect chicken salad. I feel myself decompressing. For the first time all day, I feel myself relaxing.

Ina assures me that I do not need 200 pounds of chicken like most recipes call for; she laughs gently and goes on to say, “All you need is 2 cooked chicken breasts.” She goes on to make her chicken salad and tells me that she is using pecans and walnuts, but I can use whatever kind of nuts I like. She stirs in mayo and sour cream and again reassures me that I can use one or the other or both. She seasons without measuring all the while telling me that I know how my family would like this salad seasoned. I find myself soothed. I can do this. I know how to make chicken salad, I made it just yesterday. The only difference with The Barefoot Contessa’s is that she used some grapes. Hmmm, good to know. The next time I have a few on hand I will surely do that.

I often watch The Food Network and once mentioned it to my friend Michelle who said she records several shows and then sits and knits while the show keeps her company. That’s what it does! The Food Network keeps us company. Depending on the chef, the recipes could be complicated or easy. The featured entree could be a dish my family would never consider trying, or favorite go-to meal.  There are many chefs in many kitchens, but one thing they have in common is that they make me feel like I am a friend sitting in their home, chatting about my family, my day, or even my childhood. Some cook with friends or spouses, some entertain a large group or an intimate gathering.

During commercials, they remind me that not everyone is as fortunate as we are and tell me how to donate to hungry people right here in my own neighborhood. They remind me that I am the expert in my kitchen and with my family, they are simply there to give new ideas and tips to boost the flavor of traditional dishes. They laugh and they sing. They encourage me to give it a try and challenge myself.

The Food Network has put our friends on television where we can sit at their kitchen table, have some coffee and learn a little something.  Maybe we will make the dish they were cooking. Maybe we will knit a scarf while we admire their artistry. Maybe we just need the comfort of a familiar face and warm smile of a barefoot contessa to let us feel like at that moment, all is right in our world.

Are you kidding me? This woman whose only claim to fame was a sex tape and whose entire family flaunts not only an immoral life style, but one that is, at times, violent and abusive is going to tell me how to raise a financially responsible adult by giving her a credit card? The only thing the Kardashian women can teach my daughter is how to be objectified, over exposed and abused. They teach disrespect for self and others. They teach that money should be obtained in ANY manner and used for greed. They teach that self gratification should come at all costs and they have learned that from their mother who has no problem instructing her daughters to use their bodies and even sexual acts to get a bigger check, contract or house!

The Kardashian women teach that putting up with verbal abuse and threats of physical violence is acceptable in a relationship. even if you are mother with a young child at stake. God forbid the cameras stop rolling and we lose any of the drama as daddy comes home drunk and breaks all the furniture as he chases his girlfriend and infant son from their high-end rented condo. Does this woman leave him? No! She gives him chance after chance and “Momager” even gives this man a surprise birthday party to kiss up to him so he doesn’t move her daughter and grandson away to New York. Every season this family stoops to new lows all for the sake of ratings and money.

Kim, keep your credit card. I have been teaching my daughter about responsibility and how to take the high road and by avoiding any exposure to you and your lifestyle. Unfortunately, their are girls and their mothers who will take advantage of your designer credit card and treat themselves to jewelry, clothing and accessories from your stores. They will buy into your philosophy that you should have EVERYTHING you want, regardless if you can pay for it or not. If you can’t pay your bill, who cares? The Karadshian women are showing us how easy it is to sell your soul to earn a buck.

Recently, I posed a question on Facebook and emailed it to my friends and asked, “How much do you spend on groceries a month?” The reason I asked is because I saw an “expert” from Consumer Magazine report that the average family of 4 spends $6,000 a year; claiming “this is way too much!” I was shocked! We’re a family of 3 and I’m a savvy shopper. I use coupons, serve leftovers and cook from scratch. We rarely eat a meal out, our morning coffee is always brewed at home and we carry refillable water bottles everywhere. I do all our laundry and clean my house myself. We have one pet – a small dog. And I spend approximately $675.00 per month. (That’s $8,100 per year)

I did the math from the “expert” and here is the breakdown: A family of four spends $500 a month in groceries which is $125 a week, which is $17.85 per day for a family of four, or FOUR dollars 50 cents per person per day! (That’s $1.50 per meal if you’re still counting) This guy thinks we can cut this down even further?  First of all, what is this guy’s dining-out budget? Are his work clothes dry cleaned? Does he have his house cleaned professionally? What does he spend on his morning coffee?

So I reached out to the real experts: my friends and fans. I polled them in person and on Facebook. These are the people who grocery shop, cook meals and care for their homes, clothes and pets. Most of them coupon shop, buy in bulk for products they actually use, and occasionally color their hair at home! I reminded everyone to work in their laundry needs, pet foods, cleaning supplies, and paper goods. The responses included the size of their family, including pets. The straw poll average was $7.65 per person per day. This comes out to around $918 per month. I think that is very reasonable when you include all the products your family requires that are non-grocery but are often bought during the grocery trip!

My gripe with this guy is that he didn’t qualify what is a grocery budget! Anyone who stopped to listen to the story was, of course, interested in curtailing their spending and the expert gave good advice. But, I feel the stat he gave at the beginning should have been explained. There are many families in this economy who are spending more at the grocery store because they are spending far less at restaurants, coffee shops and personal services like hair color and pedicures! I know several families who are planning on gifting home made baked goods, salsas and jams for the holidays.

What works for me is I put all my cash for grocery in one envelope marked “grocery” and I pay from that envelope where ever I buy groceries. Including my usual stops where I get groceries like Target, Walgreens and Big Lots. This way I can tell exactly how much I go through. Too many of us nickel and dime ourselves at those stores and don’t realize the money slipping through our hands!

Here is a simple solution to keep track of your grocery budget:

1. At the beginning of the month, write down all your needs. (Click here for a free PDF list from grocerylists.org)
2. Look at your month to see if you have any holiday or party foods and add that to your budget.
3. Include anything you want to have on hand to combat buying things on the run. For example; spending money on 2 nice coffee commuter cups and brewing from home and protein breakfast bars cut down on those Starbucks or McDonald breakfast visits!
4. Check all rooms of the house to stock up on toilet paper, hand soap, hair care, cleansers and detergent. Those are the items we run to get at Target and, while there, end up buying everything we need to redecorate the entire kitchen!
5. Now, estimate how much money you will need for the month and then, if your paycheck allows, take the entire month budget in cash and keep in an envelope. Use the money in your envelope for any grocery or household expense. Use it when you go to Walmart, CVS, drive thru dairy…etc.
6. Do this a few months in a row and depending on how much you have to add to the envelope or left over, you will have your TRUE grocery budget.

Chances are, you will go over the expert’s horrifying amount of $500 per month, but I guarantee, you will be curbing in other areas of your budget and save money! By doing this, you will also not overbuy and have “cash in the trash” by throwing away expired food, but you will also be able to keep track of that kid who uses shampoo like water or think diet coke just multiplies miraculously in the fridge!

“The Holidays are coming! The Holidays are coming!” Every wife and mother hears the town crier roaring through her town before the Halloween decorations have come down! He rides through our neighborhood with his sales papers featuring great deals for under $1000, newest recipes from five star restaurant chefs, and the newest thing in pet gifts and stocking stuffers! It seems as if his cries get louder as every day passes November 1st!

I turn to the latest magazines, blogs and talk show feature spots to see how I, too, can be more organized and prepared for the Holidays. Hey, I’ve even written a few myself! But today’s blog is all about how to take care of the inner woman in you! And you can forget about a bubble bath or scented candles…every mom knows that by the time you scrub the tub so you can get in and enjoy the bath, you are too exhausted and maybe a little resentful!

Every year I host my girlfriends to a Girl’s Night Out and all it costs them is an appetizer and 10 dollars! Show me a happy hour, dinner out or movie night that costs so little! Once a year, 11 of my friends come to my home for Bunko – a wonderful night of fun, food and fellowship! I always host my Bunko night in October…right before the crazy Holiday season. October is usually a good month for most women. School is back in session, we have found a groove to our work schedules, and there is no big obligations like Christmas or Thanksgiving that involves in-laws, gifts and overblown budgets!

My home is decorated for Halloween and I ask my girlfriends to break out their fun Halloween shirts and jewelry. Everyone brings an appetizer and I supply dessert and cocktails for all. Speaking of which, my “ghoulfriends” look forward to the new cocktail I conjure up! One year it was a blood orange cosmo, one year it was a pomegranite martini and this year I tried a Cabernet wine made from grapes grown in Transylvania! Next year I plan on trying Ina Garten’s jet black espresso and Kahlua mixed cocktail.

I… (or should I say my husband) sets out 2 card tables, one in the den and one in the family room and I decorate the card tables and my kitchen table with Halloween tablecloths and set out the dice, a notepad, a novelty pen and of course, Halloween candy and spiced nuts on all three tables. The head table has the bell we use to signal the start and end of each round. All Buncos involve a “Bunco trophy” a pillow, a crown and a necklace that the latest Bunco winner wears until someone else wins it and snatches it away from her! At my Bunco we have used a “witches broom”, a light up wand and even a large witch hat!

You can go on line or ask some friends about Bunco, there are many ways to play. But most Bunkos involve moving table to table as the game progresses, keeping score each round, and a 1st, 2nd, third and Booby prize winner.

My Bunco starts with dinner, which comes from my friends as they all bring appetizers for 12 people. Have you ever been out to dinner and said to yourself, “I could make a whole meal out of appetizers!”? Well, that is exactly what we do! Some make home made dishes, other stop on the way over and pick up take out…either way, everything is delicious and we get a good assortment. Whether they’re coming from home or directly from work, the ladies love sitting down with friends to chat and eat a meal they didn’t have to cook and enjoying a grown up drink without tiny fingers grabbing for our tiny umbrellas!

As a special treat, I like to make up a grab bag for all my friends to take home. I find the bags at my local dollar store and, this year, I filled it with breakfast for the next day; a jumbo breakfast cookie (a mix right out of the box, just add water and an egg) and a disposable coffee cup with a packet of fancy instant coffee, sugar and sweetener packet.

This is a perfect Girl’s Night Out! It gives us all a chance to catch up and because the game rotates players and tables, we get a chance to talk to and visit with everyone. How many parties have you gone to and realized you didn’t get to talk with someone?! The ladies leave relaxed and ready to face the start of the Holiday season having spent time with good friends before their calender gets too busy!

Now, I like to do this in October, but anytime you feel like your girlfriends could use a break, you can do this. Girls Night Out…a night that is fun, inexpensive and over too soon!

• An honorable father does everything within his power to protect the safety and image of his family… not sell them out.

• An honorable father works day in and day out to support his family, not find the easy, sleazy dollar via a publicity stunt.

• An honorable father sends his daughter back in to the house when the hem or neck line of her outfit is inappropriate, not book her to pose naked or pole dance.

• An honorable father builds character in his sons by teaching them how to treat their sisters, mothers and other women with respect.

• An honorable father protects his family’s name. In his world, his family’s good name means they conduct themselves with integrity, not a title of a tawdry reality show.

The first father I will take on is Bruce Jenner.  When I posted this on face book, some asked, “What did Bruce Jenner do?” NOTHING!  That is what Bruce Jenner has done…NOTHING! And the worse part of it is that he isn’t absent, he is very much there, but still does nothing while his wife, Kris Kardashian, a publicity monster, continues to book her girls on one degrading gig after another.

Chris Rock, in his latest comedy special opened with a joke about fathers and how it is their job to keep their daughters off the pole!  I was speechless as I watched a clip of Bruce Jenner viewing a tape of his 2 youngest daughters, 10 and 12 years old, learning how to dance on a stripper pole.  When he brought it to his wife’s attention, (well, when a producer thought it would make good tv for him to confront her) Kris Kardashian dismissed it as part of growing up.  Bruce Jenner slinked away without an argument.

Bruce is a father, but not one of honor. An honorable father protects his daughters innocence. He cherishes her purity. He teaches her about respect and dignity and serves as her role model for how a man should view a woman. Where is your honor Bruce as your youngest daughters spin on poles? Are you aware of what grown men think about when they watch this? I mean, Bruce is a man and should know what men think about, fantasize about as they watch these girls slither on a pole.

At the risk of offending the reader, I must share some thoughts about a call I heard on the Dr. Laura show. I say I may offend in that Dr. Laura was extremely direct during this conversation. A frustrated mother of a 12-year-old called complaining that her daughter insisted on wearing short skits and low cut tops. The daughter argued that her look was just fine and people must have dirty minds. Dr. Laura asked to speak to the young girl. The girl got on the phone and proceeded to be very defensive as she said she was innocent in her choices and couldn’t control what others thought.

Dr. Laura let the girl go on about her up-tight mother and then she said something I may never forget;  Dr. Laura calmly said, “DId you know that when you wear those clothes, when men look at you, it makes their penis hard?” – The girl’s silence was so sudden it filled the air waves. Dr. Laura was so direct with the rest of her conversation. She went on to tell this girl that she wasn’t just turning on the cute boys a little older than her, she could also making 50 year old penises hard! You could hear this little girl gasp and then remark as only a junior higher can, “That’s Gross!”   It took an adult to be that straight forward (excuse the pun) with her and let her know that men will physically respond to the way she is dressed; and that as a matter of fact, she CAN control what they think.

C’mon Bruce! You’re a man. You know how they think. You are building your family name on one humiliating story after another. Your family wouldn’t even have a reality show if it wasn’t for Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Paris Hilton’s cast off. When that tape came to light, an honorable father, a responsible step-father, a man with character, would have protected her from the media, gossip and shame, not ride that publicity into several reality shows. An honorable father would stand up to his wife and mother of his daughters and stop the whoring out of his family. A father of character, wisdom and integrity would raise a family with those very traits.

Some where, this Olympiad lost his footing and for the sake of his daughters, I hope he gets back on track.

I do believe children are a gift from God. I also believe God blesses moms with the ability to love all her children. But if God meant for us to have 20 children, He would also have given mothers an extra pair of eyes, preferably some that could rotate completely around our head, and some extra arms! Our knees would bend with ease in the either direction. We would have super sonic hearing and a voice that would never grow weary of explaining things over and over and over again! Mother’s would look like some freaky monster from a sci-fi movie!

But, to be serious, I do believe a woman’s body was designed by God and in that grand design, having 20 children and well past a healthy age to do so was not part of the plan! The Duggars claim to be a witness for Christianity and instead display irresponsibility. The 19th baby was born with serious health problems. Yes, any baby can be born with health problems, but if that bay is number 19 and mom’s body has not had time to recover from the last birth or is past the prime age to have children, chances are greater for this baby to be born with complications. Once it was determined the baby was so sick and would be fighting between life and death, the Duggars choose to keep those cameras rolling. How is this witnessing? How is this responsible? How could a husband or father put his wife and daughter through this? A husband is supposed to cherish and protect his wife and family, I see the Duggar dad doing neither! I see him as selfish and single minded. And now, they are considering a 20th child?!

Yes, it appears they can afford it, but for how long without the TV contract on each child! Yes, it appears they love all their children, but can they get to know each child or be there for one of them when he or she may need concentrated attention or wisdom? I know with 3 children, attention is a precious commodity. You have to be available to listen, comfort and observe otherwise they can run off cliffs, physically, emotionally and spiritually. How can you possibly do that with 20 individual children at various stages of growth?

Yes, the children help, but the children are NOT each other’s responsibility…they are the parent’s responsibility. Those children should be allowed to be children and teens without having to raise a brother or sister.

Medically, what are Michelle Duggar or the next baby’s chances of surviving another birth? If either or both do not survive, would this be God’s plan? Mr.Duggar, be a responsible father and husband and protect your family. Let’s start by taking the cameras out of their lives as they go through this. A responsible man like yourself should be able to cover all those bills without reality TV paychecks for 21 people.

This year would be different in our household. My youngest, Pilar will be going into 7th grade and for the first time ever…no uniforms! It has always been so easy to try one style of shirt and pants on her and then buy 5 uniforms in her sizes. We finish off with white socks, regulated shoes and the school hoodie! Done! Of course, like every mother of a private school kid, I went away licking my wounds at the cost of the uniforms, which incidentally, could only be at purchased at one store which never seemed to have items on sale!

As most of my readers know, I use the envelope system for cash. I withdraw each month, at the beginning of the month, the amount of cash I need and put it in envelopes marked, “Grocery”, “Dining Out”, “Gasoline”, and “Misc or Fun”. Using these envelopes have always made me stay on budget and think about each of my purchases; whether it is for going out to a restaurant or drive through Del Taco! And since the envelopes have been such a success, I decided to try it with our school budget!

I worked my budget to include school clothes and supplies and withdrew the cash. I showed Pilar her envelope for school clothes. We all agreed on $300 to begin the year and once she was in school, we would include an amount every month to update her wardrobe. Now, keep in mind, she has never been to public school and most of her wardrobe was made up of only uniforms and she wore those 5 days a week, so we had to buy everything!

I realize, $300 may not seem like much, but I wanted to see how far we would get. I told her school supplies and backpack were not included, however, if she wanted the cute mechanical pencils with fancy erasers instead of the box of plain ole’ number twos I was willing to buy, that had to come out of her envelope! Same went for an upgrade to the back pack or lunch box I was willing to buy.

We got up early and went off to the outlets. She knew she could get more bang for her buck at the outlet malls and we had time on our side to search. I was very impressed with her knowledge about selecting her wardrobe. She planned to shop with her favorite colors in mind so she could easily mix and match. I was concerned when she choose a gray skirt and gray cardigan, but she showed me how many colors go with gray…red, pink, yellow, lavender, pale bue…what a smart kid! She watched every penny and tried on all the clothes to make sure her money was spent well. She hit the information center at the mall for additional coupons and deals! She shopped clearance first, knowing that here in Southern California a summer wardrobe works well in to October.

The purchase I was most impressed with was her shoes! Like every girl on the planet, she loves her shoes! We went to the Converse outlet and she looked at various shoes and told me which ones she could find cheaper on line…something I didn’t even know she researched! I was shocked when she picked a solid black pair! “Really? Black? ALL black?” I asked. She beamed at me and walked over to the shoe lace aisle and grabbed 6 pairs of different colored shoe laces! I tell you, my baby is brilliant!

Every time we made a purchase, we took out our envelope and she saw her cash go down, she winced. I had to remind her that she was making great deals and buying exactly what she wanted. We found a 25% discount at Old Navy just for saying out loud she was a student and on a another day, camis for $2 dollars each for saying “I love Camis”! We came home with a 30% coupon off Converse on a purchase made next month. We are waiting for Kohls to have their blow out sale on jeans and Levi for a sale on a good quality jean jacket.

I am so proud of Pilar and her ingenuity to design her wardrobe from top to bottom. But I am truly most proud of her for respecting our family’s budget and working within it with no complaints; only an excitement to see what her next find will be! As we go out shopping, I see lots of spoiled girls clamoring and whining about what they want. Pilar doesn’t notice though, she is too busy making her money work!

It is the end of the month and Pilar has purchased a skirt, 8 camis, 2 pairs of shoes with six pairs of laces, a darling cardigan, a graphic t-shirt and she still has $107 left! This has taught us, as mother and daughter, a few lessons as well. I have learned how to be more patient with her and trust in her ability to pick what is right for her body and sensibility. She has learned how to be a good steward…a lesson which will serve her well…always.

Among the many challenges we have to take on is that of meal preparation. It seems fairly easy when you see a newscaster standing in front of a counter that has 18 ingredients, chopped, minced, measured and placed in a perfectly sized glass bowl! When a mom is deciding what to prepare for a meal, she has to open her pantry, fridge or freezer and figure out what she can make. Throw in some homework, a colicky baby or an emergency trip to the vet with a sick dog, and dinner plans quickly fly out the window!

I have been prepping meals for over 25 years and have a list of favorites that my family loves and that are quick and easy for me to cook. Including these meals into your rotation can ease up your routine and also are easy enough for family members to help prepare. I also am a big fan of cooking double portions and freezing for later.

One of my favorites is the award winning meatloaf recipe from the back of the Quaker Oats box! I double the recipe, or even triple it if ground beef is on sale and freeze a few loaves for another busy night! This recipe yields a meatloaf for 6 servings. It always comes out moist and delicious! Few things in a mom’s life can be this predictable!
I serve macaroni and cheese and fresh green beans and it is always a pretty and colorful presentation! My husband enjoys a meatloaf sandwich the next day.

Recipes
Classic Meatloaf

Ingredients

*
* 1-1/2 pounds lean ground beef or turkey
* 3/4 cup Quaker® Oats(quick or old fashioned, uncooked)
* 3/4 cup finely chopped onion
* 1/2 cup catsup
* 1 egg, lightly beaten
* 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce or soy sauce
* 2 cloves garlic, minced
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Preparation

Heat oven to 350°F. Combine all ingredients in large bowl; mix lightly but thoroughly. Shape meatloaf mixture into 10×6-inch loaf on rack of broiler pan.

Bake 50 to 55 minutes or until meatloaf is to medium doneness (160°F for beef, 170°F for turkey), until not pink in center and juices show no pink color. Let stand 5 minutes before slicing. Cover and refrigerate leftovers promptly and use within 2 days, or wrap airtight and freeze up to 3 months.

Yield

6 TO 8

Now, I grew up with a gas dryer.  I remember a neighbor having a clothes line and when it rained, my mom let her use our dryer. The closest I ever came to line drying clothes was in a hotel room. (And does a pair of panty hose and underwear count?)

I stared at the box for quantity, I went ahead and typed in 2!  I ordered a portable clothes line for me too!  Why not give it a whirl? I always had delicates to wash.  My clothes line was delivered and my husband put it up. I had a brand new bag of clothes pins ready and waiting! I washed a load of underwear and bras and went outside to hang it.

A funny thing happened outside while I hung the panties on the line.  The sun was warm on my back as I stood there in the sun. The dogs were sitting calmly at my feet while I fastened clothes pins on the bras and panties. They actually looked cute hanging in the sun.  I wasn’t feeling rushed or as if I was doing a chore. I could hear my neighborhood buzzing about; a dog bark, a gardener’s lawn mower, birds chirping, the mail man’s cart approaching our home. Before I knew it, the entire load was on the line. It was a warm California day and the clothes were dry in about an hour.

I went out to take them off the line and again experienced a calmness as I folded each item and put it in the basket. It was easy and I felt, well… I felt accomplished! I have been drying my clothes on the line ever since.

It took some research and a few tries to figure out how to hang jeans, dress shirts and that socks are hung from the toes. I found the fabric softener I loved and realized that the sun bleached my dishtowels like Clorox never could.

No matter how busy and hectic my days are, I find that hanging clothes on the line calms me and slows me down.  As I hang Pilar’s favorite Hawaiian Punch graphic t-shirt, or her favorite white hoodie, I find myself thinking about her. I stop and reflect on her smile or her laugh. I always smile when I hang my husbands sexy briefs on the line. When no one is looking, I make them dance! And for some weird reason, I always get an even number of socks! Not one sock has gone to live with Jesus since I have been hanging laundry!

At the risk of sounding like a commercial, my laundry looks brighter and  smells fresher. No matter how hard or stressful a day has been, I look forward to the calming effect I get from hanging my laundry.

Here’s a link to the same one I have. This is Target’s version: http://www.target.com/Household-Essentials-Portable-Umbrella-Dryer/dp/B001H1GUXW/ref=sc_qi_detailbutton

I learned so much about budgeting, party planning and crafting while I was a room mom and wanted to share some of those tips!    Here are ten tips for room moms and will also come in handy for any party planner on a budget.

I used my position as room mom to teach the children bout the world outside of theirs. We not only had parties,  we learned about other cultures, life styles and even did charity work.

Tip #1: Collect money from each student at the beginning of the year.  I planned on 30 dollars for the year and this would allow the children to have something once a month.  As a parent, you know that every time you turn around your child needs 5 dollars her and 10 dollars there.  It really cuts into your budget.  I sent a letter to the parents letting them know that this would be the only time I would collect.  I put the money in an envelope along with coupons from craft and party stores.

Tip #2: Set up your calender with the teacher at the beginning of the year.  This prevents any conflicts regarding dates.  Teachers have to schedule tests, presentations and in service dates, so be respectful of their schedules.  Also, ask the teacher if she can spare a shelf for your supplies.  Label all your supplies to avoid getting them mixed up with the teacher’s.

Tip #3: As a room mom, I wasn’t just a party planner.  I had a guest speaker come in every year to talk to the children.  One year I had my friend who was a professional stunt woman come in to demonstrate her  amazing skills and tell the children what her career was like.  I also had a friend who has been blind since the age of six.  He brought “cool blind man stuff” as he put it, to share with the students to teach them about how a blind person functions.  HE even brought his seeing eye dog and a few games for blind children their age.  Think outside the box!

Tip #4: Don’t just think about the world wide  or national holidays.  We celebrated and learned about cultures from around the world as we celebrated Chinese New Year and Mexican Independence Day. One of my favorite parties was a kick off for baseball season!  The kids wore baseball jerseys and caps and we played grammar baseball and watched Angels in the Outfield.  Lunch was hotdogs, chips, lemon aid and of course, cracker jack!

Tip #5: Make Big Lots and the dollar store some of your regular stops.  I often found all my paper goods for round  dollar!  I have picked up bare wreaths to decorate for 19 cents each, spools of ribbon for a quarter and craft items like stickers and paint for a song!  Go ahead and pick the table ware of the clearance rack…kids don’t mind the off beat colors!  Some of our parties were a hodgepodge of all the leftovers!

Tip #6: Ask for old daddy t or button down shirts for painting projects.  I kept them at home so I could wash them all at once and bring them back with me for project days.  Parents will love you for saving the wear and tear on school clothes or uniforms!

Tip #7: Invest in cupcake making supplies!   Long before Cupcake Wars took over the food network, room mothers everywhere knew cupcakes were the perfect dessert!   Restaurant supply stores have the 2 doz cupcake tin!  What a life saver!  You can get 24 done in 20 minutes!  I also invested in a cupcake carrier; it was one of the best buys I have made.  Keep an eye open for cupcake mixes and frostings  when they are  on sale and stock up on basic chocolate and vanilla.  I found great assortments of sprinkles on line.  I use them for family celebrations too!  They have a long shelf life and can turn a regular cupcake into a party cupcake!

Tip #8: Teach generosity!  I had our students collect for and make Christmas stocking for the homeless community in our area.  They collected personal grooming items and stuffed the stockings.  By the third year, many parents were inspired and also donated gift cards to add to the stockings.

Tip #9: When making projects for Mother’s or Father’s Day, keep in mind that some children are from blended families and may want to make 2 Mother’s Day gifts; one for mom and one for step mom.  I had a child whose father died and every year he made  a card and craft for his daddy.  I have learned so much about the children’s thoughtfulness when it comes to how they feel about their families.

Tip #10: Have the children help with all the projects!  Yes, another mommy and I could do it faster and neater, but the children should learn about offering a helping hand.  This is a teaching opportunity.  Have them help set up, serve and clean up. I had kids clean desks, we took out trash and left a clean class room.  We never left a mess for the janitorial staff.   The kids  often took plates of left over treats to office staff or teacher’s lounge.   They will learn their helping hands are building character and their generosity is always appreciated.

I missed my kids during the sixth grade year…and from what I hear, they missed me too!  My daughter said she wouldn’t mind if I was room mom next year.

I understand that many of you are too busy to be a room mom, but your help is always appreciated.   Room moms could always use the help…even if you can only volunteer once a year!    We could use anything from old shirts for painting to another pair of hands handing out hot dogs.  Your children love seeing you there, even if they act like they don’t….trust me!

So, I’d like to hear from you. Send me a short story about your relationship and how it works. How has my story/comedy changed or affected your relationship? I really look forward to your responses. fromdebi@debiontheweb.com

(Note – I will use these stories for research purposes only. They will not be published.)

Our daughter, Pilar, can sit at the kitchen table from 3:30 in the afternoon to bedtime doing just a few assignments that her teachers have assured us should only take 1 1/2 hours! The entire time she does homework, she is looking out the window, laughing at the dogs, getting a drink of water, going to the bathroom, looking for a definition on the computer or just SITTING there STARING!

Or, how about this….you and your kid struggle, fight, argue and finally the assignment is complete and then your kid DOESN’T turn it in! I try to picture the class room…easy for me to do since I was a teacher for 10 years. The teacher is at the front of the class and asks the kids to pass in their homework. Each kid passes their paper to the one in front of him and the teacher collects them all….right? And yet…and yet…for some unknown reason, my kid will sit there and not hand in a a COMPLETED homework assignment! WHAT??? SERIOUSLY? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

After all the begging, pleading, crying, and yelling, my husband had it! Pilar had been sitting with a math homework lesson for 2 hours and during that 2 hours finished 3 questions…FROM THE WRONG LESSON!!! Oh, and not just a lesson one chapter over… but 23 lessons back???

“GO to bed!” he thundered! We all sat shocked!

“What?” Pilar answered. “It’s still daytime and we didn’t eat dinner.”

“I don’t care!“, a daddy so frustrated and mad we didn’t even recognize him answered. “Stop what you are doing right now, get on your pajamas, brush your teeth and go to bed!”

I watched, stunned as she went upstairs and went to bed. She fell fast asleep and he woke her up for dinner and before he put her back to bed, he calmly told her, “Tomorrow morning I will wake you up at 5:00 a.m. and sit with you while you do your homework.” Now, this family hasn’t been up at 5 AM since and earthquake, and even then, we questioned if we should get up. My husband set his alarm and went to bed. When that alarm went off, he was out of bed and woke up a very surprised 12 year old! There was no yelling, pleading, or crying. Pilar went to the table and her assignment was done within an hour!
Later that night, she actually thanked her dad for taking the time to help her. I wish I could say that one time was all it took, but as you know, our kids can be very stubborn and may have to have a lesson taught more than once. My husband had to set the alarm again this morning for an unfinished book report on a book she didn’t finish reading!

My husband is more than willing to go the rest of this school year, setting the 5 or even 4:30 AM revellie bugle call to get Pilar out of bed and to tackle homework she dilly-dallied over the day before! Now that’s a dad that means business!

One rainy afternoon, Kathy and Baby Jeremy stopped by and she asked me what I was serving for dinner. I said, “We were having the rainy day special, Albodigas.” Kathy said she loved that soup and asked how to make it. So I promised to get her the recipe.

It is so easy to make and although it requires a good amount of chopping of fresh ingredients, it is one of those meals that can be stored and reserved throughout the week…with quesadillas for a complete dinner or just a bowl for a hearty lunch.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 pounds of ground beef
• 1 small brown onion, chopped
• 1 bunch of fresh cilantro, chopped
• 2 handfuls of uncooked rice
• 1 raw egg
• salt, pepper, garlic powder
• 6-8 carrots, coin sized slices
• 3-4 celery ribs, chopped
• 4-5 red potatoes, quartered
• 1 can of tomato sauce

Directions:

1. Set a large pot of water to boil. (I add some salt to the water while it boils.)
2. Combine ground beef, 1/2 onion, 1/2 of the cilantro, rice, egg and seasonings and mix by hand.
3. Form meat mixture into small meatballs and put in boiling water.
4. Add chopped carrots and celery to mixture, remaining onion and cilantro, tomato sauce to water and meatballs.
5. Set to simmer for 90 minutes.
6. Add potatoes and simmer another 30 minutes.
7. Salt and pepper to taste.
8. Serve with fresh wheat, white or corn tortillas or for a complete meal; quesadillas!

You can find other quick and easy recipes right here on this blog. Just select the ‘RECIPE” link from the Categories menu on the right. I am all about the easiest way to prep healthy meals within a budget!

Send me some of your favorites and we can all help each other get in and out of the kitchen quickly and enjoy our families!

But one day, I did what millions of you do every day and had no idea the snowball effect it would take on our family. I paid some bills, sent a card to a friend confirming our vacation dates and where we would meet them, a photo along with my daughter’s school information for an award she won, a few dvds to Netflix and my husband’s unemployment claim form… complete with his social security number. I put the outgoing mail in my mailbox which sits on my property and faces the street. I put the red flag up alerting the mail man that I had mail to be picked up. Apparently, I also let a criminal know my mail was ready to be picked up.

The first thing I noticed was that Netflix didn’t notify me that my DVD’s were received. That was odd because I am always notified in a day by email. After a few days, I reported them missing, but didn’t think much more about it. I check my bank statements on line every day and before leaving on a day trip to the beach with my family, I checked my account and saw 2 checks written for a total of $1,300 from our checking account. I clicked on the check image and when I did, checks with a different name and address came up. How could the bank have switched these checks between customers. I thought because we had the same first name, this was a likely mistake. Upon closer viewing, my husband noticed the checks had our account and routing numbers! Someone took one of our checks, created their own checks using their own name and driver’s license number and proceeded to write checks form our account!

We ran to the bank and closed the account and went to the police. After being shuffled through several police stations in different cities; the city where the woman lived, the city where the checks where written and even our own city where the mail was taken, we were finally told we had to take this to the Post Master, who apparently is the Police Department who handles federal crimes of stolen mail. We reported this to the Post Master several weeks ago and still have not had a return call! We are completely frustrated. We try not to think about it because we wake up in the middle of the night feeling pissed off at the criminal and the system that allows her and others like her to commit these crimes. We contacted one of the managers of a store where she wrote a check. She bought over $800.00 worth of merchandise, the manager has video tape, and because we are STILL waiting for the Post Master to do his or her job, this criminal was able to return the merchandise for cash!

During this time, I realized that the other mail stolen that day contained personal information. My husband’s social security number was on the claim form, my daughter’s picture and school information, and the dates we would be gone on vacation. I kick myself daily over this and my husband has been so kind and understanding. As he reminds me, I did what millions of people do every day, put my mail out in my home mail box to be picked up!

Here are steps you must do to protect yourself and your family. Pass this information on to seniors or to college students out on their own, both groups who often fall victim to identity theft.

• Always send mail through the post office or federal mail box.
• Get a mailbox that can be locked or get a post office box to receive mail and packages. If you do get a post office box, wait until you get home to throw away your mail, do not use the communal trash can provided…I can attest to the the fact the good folks at the post office could care less what happens to your mail.
• Make sure your bank DOES NOT send your new checks, debit or credit cards through the mail. Always request to pick them up from the bank.
• If you are expecting a package, ask a neighbor to keep an eye open for you or have them delivered to your office.
• Don’t send cash or gift cards in the mail. Our postman told us criminals look for birthday card envelopes in the mail hoping to steal cash or gift cards. You can send gift cards via the internet and most banks will wire money free of charge.
• Put your trash out on the morning of collection, not the night before. We have had other neighbors who have had trash pickers also steal their mail or take info from the trash to use for identity theft. AND your trash on your property is NOT free for anyone to go through…it is still on YOUR property.

I hope this blog is informative to you, a neighbor, friend or family member. Criminals are crappy people and don’t care about the damage they do to your family. You can fall into mountains of paper work when trying to repair the damage, so hopefully you can prevent this from happening to you or someone you care about. Share ideas with your neighbors, criminals, thieves and vagrants will avoid communities where people are watching out for each other.

The envelope system is based on the fact that most people are more aware of what they are spending if they are using cold hard cash.  The feeling of handing over two $100 dollar bills for a purchase at the mall stings more than running a debit card and punching in your PIN. I know as a mother, I actually see “cash” laying on the floor of my daughter’s room in the form of brand new jeans and t shirt!

I am what Dave Ramsey refers to as the “nerd” and my husband is the “free spirit” which means that I love to look at and crunch the numbers and he is happy having me do just that!   But, every month, the two of us sit down and look at the next months bills.  We take into consideration any thing special coming up.  For example, we had to add Mother’s Day gifts for the moms in our family and for our daughter’s birthday.  This reminds us that birthdays and holidays are NOT emergencies and come at the same time every year so we should plan for them.  That being said, we look at our budget for the month, add in anything that can come up every few months like insurances, car registrations, birthdays. or even utility bills that have a high fluctuation during certain months.

During this time we talk  over the budget calmly and rationally and coffee and pastries are always welcome!  After we establish our budget, at the beginning of the month, (we are self employed and schedule our paydays on the first  of the month) I set up the bills to be paid on line, write checks for other bills, and withdraw all the cash we have set aside in the budget for groceries, dining out, gasoline, holiday or birthday, clothing and “misc”.  I take the cash and put the amount we agreed on into different envelopes. When I go to the grocery store, I take my envelope and buy my groceries and, if at the end of the month we are running out of grocery money, it’s time to get creative! If we are out and about and my daughter wants a cold drink or I want a coffee, we check our dining out envelope and if there is cash we can enjoy a treat!

As the mother of a tween daughter, buying clothes are always an issue, but with an envelope with cash, she can see how much we have allotted for ALL OF US that month!  Our gift/holiday envelope keeps up to stay within budget when buying presents for friends and family.  I also realized that we buy gifts for people who we love and love us and they would never want to know we spent more than we could afford on them.  The “misc” envelope is just that; miscellaneous items.  We also use it if we do not have enough in the other envelopes. For example, we are almost out of cash in our dining out envelope but haven’t touched our misc envelope.  Tonight is going to be crazy with 3 of us going in 3 different directions and I am using some misc cash for Subway sandwiches!  Done deal! At the end of the month we can see if we underestimated or overestimated in certain areas and can plan even better for the next month.

At first I was worried that people would think I was an idiot carrying around my envelopes, but most people are curious and my envelopes have become quite the conversation starter!   The best part of using this tool is that since we have been using our envelopes we have stayed within budget EVERY month!  We have have cash in our checking account at the end of the month as well.  We have put a stop to spending without thinking.  We have learned the difference between a need and a want.  We have all come together as a family to live the best life possible, be creative and take care of our resources.

Give it a try for one month and let me know what you think!

Kris Jenner,  a self proclaimed “momager” and matriarch of the Kardashian children exploits her more than willing daughters to display themselves as tawdry sex objects, including going behind her husband’s back to book her daughters for a nude Playboy Magazine shoot.  I am not a prude, all I am saying is; is this the job of a mom?  Do you not realize what most men use these photos for Kris?  You are a big grown up girl, so I  am assuming you do know, it just doesn’t matter to you.  I think the one photo that bothered me so much was the one of a very pregnant daughter in g-string and thigh highs posing in a sexual position…again, I say, I can see how some smarmy agent would arrange that photo shoot…not  a mother and future grandmother.

I have tried to watch the show, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and was appalled with the way the children speak to the parents.  The “f” bomb flows freely and is used on their parents and siblings both in jest and in anger.  They have told their parents to go to hell.  The youngest daughter, a 12 year old, yelled at her father in public when he objected to the was she showed up wearing  to a family dinner in a restaurant.  The 12 year old toddled into the restaurant on 4 inch high heels, with a dress that barely covered her vageen and  was wearing more makeup than Ru Paul!   When her father, Bruce Jenner objected, he allowed himself to be  chewed up and spat out by his wife in front of all his children for being too hard on the girl and he left….all by himself.  How did this family get a reality show in the first place?   Lest any of you forget, daughter Kim launched her career with a sex tape with her best friend’s ex boyfriend.  Kris Kardashian, Mom or Mom-ster?  I vote Mom-ster.

Kate Gosslin, You know her right?  She is that long suffering mother who puts her kids first before anyone or anything!  The mother who protects her children from any awful thing.  Kate has all but put a pork chop around the neck of each of these children and thrown them right to the wolves!  If you want to protect your children, you do not constantly put yourself in the eye of the paparazzi.  If you want to provide for your children, you get a JOB.  I am so sick of Jon and Kate demanding the only place they can earn money is in the world of television…have we all forgotten that TLC found them AFTER the children were born?  How were they expecting to pay for these children in the first place?  He was a computer tech and she was a nurse.  They had a way to support their children.  They may not have been able to to give them the elaborate vacations, designer clothes,  latest toys and three nannies…but they could have supported them.  Get your ass off the dance floor; you are neither a star or a dancer, quit pushing your book with intimate letters for your children, and don’t write another one.  Quit calling yourself one of us…a hardworking single mother, you are a divorced woman who was mean to her husband and continues to exploit your family for your own fame and profit.  Kate Gosslin, Mom or Mom-ster?  I vote Mom-ster.

Deana Lohan, another “momager” allowed her daughter, Lindsey Lohan to spin out of control into a world of false friendships, drugs and alcohol.   What sould Lindsey count on from her mom…help? support? rescue?  NO!  Deana only continues to give excuses.  You are going to excuse that girl right into an early grave and I am assuming you will write a book and make the talk show circuit to tell us all about Lindsey’s sad story.  Mom or Mom-ster?  I vote Mom-ster.

On a recent episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, the wives showed up to a cocktail party where they would proceed to tear each other and their husbands apart, one wife and her husband got out of the limo and looked great..no detail escaped them.  Not a hair out of place, expensive purse complimented more expensive shoes.  Unfortunately, they overlooked two “accessories” …their 2 daughters!  The girls,  ages 15 and 16 got out of the same limo falling down drunk!  The mother later said she never noticed them drinking in the limo, really?  Are you that self absorbed that you couldn’t see what your daughters were doing 2 feet away from you?  Then they get to the party and EVERY one of the housewives and their husbands notice the girls are drinking.  I am sure the bar tenders and servers knew and I am sure the producers kept the cameras rolling while 2 underage, half naked, intoxicated girls, kept drinking!    Moms or Mom-sters?  I vote Mom-sters.

Through Baby Step One, we learned several things.  The first thing we learned is that even though we thought we were only using the credit card for emergencies, we really weren’t.  We were only fooling ourselves.  When we had to discuss the incident that required us to go unlock the box, unseal the envelope and touch the cash, we realized what was a   what was a want!   We also were able to negotiate with cash in ways you can’t with a credit card.  The plumber would much rather have the cash than take a credit card and will be willing to negotiate.

We had to discuss a need v.s a want and realized, sometimes an incident can ride the line between both.  We had wanted to get another miniature doxie and had been keeping our eye open for one.  We found one through our local  the dachshund  rescue.  This puppy had been abandoned and left in a small crate with 2 other dogs.  She was underweight and very scared.  Dog rescues have financial responsibilities and therefore need to charge people who rescue these dogs.   We knew this dog needed our family and we need to rescue her.  We felt good about paying the $300 required to cover her vet bills and paper work.  Yes, this was a want, that became a need, and thanks to our newfound attitude toward money, we had the cash to rescue our newest member of our family and continue to pay down credit card.

We continued on to Baby Step 2; pay off credit card debt.  We made great progress!  Then, as Dave Ramsey warns, Murphy (Murphy’s Law) came knocking at our door and my husband was laid off.   Thanks to following just the first 2 Baby Steps of the Dave Ramsey program, and by adjusting our attitude toward spending and saving, we were in a much better place than other families who lost thier income.   We were able to access our home equity loan and even 2 months into this experience, we have only needed to borrow from it to pay one bill so far.

I will be blogging about our progress.  I do encourage you to go to your local library or book store and pay CASH for one of Dave Ramsey’s book and begin your own journey!

“But Deb,” you say to me, “We only go out maybe once a week.  Now and then I grab lunch for the kids at McDonald’s.  I grab a coffee in the morning from Starbucks..but really, is getting coffee considered going out? That’s not much, right?”

WRONG!

Your wallet isn’t differentiating if money is going toward a coffee, a happy meal with a toy or a reasonable restaurant, it is still money going out!

Let’s look at your average week of not going out.  If you drink Starbucks 4 times a week at 4.00 per order, that is $12.00 per week.  If you are drinking Starbucks during the week, chances are you are grabbing one on the weekend for your kid’s early morning soccer games, so let’s say you are spending anywhere from 50 to 60 dollars a month!  And that’s just for a one person luxury!  If you are dining out, even fast food, you can spend hundreds on going out.  Let’s say your family of four goes out to dinner at a local family style restaurant  just once a month and spends 50-60 dollars per visit; that comes to $200 to $240 per month.  How about fast food…let’s take just fast food lunch for your two kids once a week; easily $14 dollars a visit, or $56 per month.   How about pizza on a rushed night once a week, delivered to your home, so there is also a tip…there’s another $17.00 a week.

Ready to add it up?

• Starbucks……..$50-$60 per month
• Restaurant …….$200-$240 per month
• Fast food visit…$14-$20 per month
• Pizza night……..$17 to $20 per month

GRAND TOTAL:      $281-$340.00 per month!

What could your family do with that much money every month?  Could it be your car note?  Could it be private school tuition for a month?  Could it be your electric and water bill during the summer months?  How about back to school uniforms and supplies for one kid? Could it go towards a family vacation?  I know I could pay quite a few bills with that chunk of change.  Now, this is a conservative estimate of a family that doesn’t go out much!  Some families double this!

Cooking at home is cheaper.   You control the cost and the ingredients.

I will be blogging about many ways to save money by preparing your meals and snacks  at home… my family even enjoys happy hour now and then with appetizers, wine  and virgin blended drinks!

Really?  As I am writing this, I am watching a past episode of July 4th and all she did was gripe and be all over his ass for everything!   If I ate a cookie every time she hit him on the back of the head, I would be in a diabetic coma!  Really Kate?  How about you watch just a few of these episodes instead of tanning, manicuring and planning your next pr move and you will see why you deserved to be left.

During our home schooling, my mentor teacher took away the traditional book reports and told Pilar to read for the love of it.  Well, that girl went on to read 7 books from February to May!  One book she especially loved was, The Tail of Emily Windsnap”. She loved the story of the unpopular girl who realized that she was a mermaid.  She went on to read the series which included two more books.  She wanted to share the book with her friends.  She came up with the idea to have a book club.  It was a great idea.   She would be able to see her friends during the summer and keep up with the reading at the same time.  Other moms were so excited.   Keeping up with study skills are so important and our children lose so much during the summer.

DESIGNING A BOOK CLUB:

• THE DAY
  We picked a day of the week that would work for everyone and sent out handmade invitations.  I was lucky enough to have a set of mermaid stamps and always have card stock on hand.

• BOOKS
  I bought the books on www.amazon.com (linked to the book) and got a great price!  I also found an accompanying book with wonderful ideas for activities and fun quizzes…girls this age love to find out their hidden talents and skills that define their personalities through these quizzes.

• BAGS
  Pilar and I were off to the dollar stores to find white book bags and journals.  We found them at Michaels. While there, we also found fun ocean themed stickers.  I always have a 40% discount coupon for Michael’s in my wallet.   We already had a big collection of gel pens, color pencils, crayons and markers.

• JOURNALS
  The girls came and were thrilled with their new books and journals.  I gave them a five minute writing assignment.  It was a fun topic.  I did this with my daughter every morning before home schooling began.  The topic could be, “What would you do with a  robot maid?”  “Give a new excuse for the dog ate my homework!”  “What would you do if you found a wallet with money?”  I told the  girls no one would read their journals except them and if they wanted to, they could share.  They are keeping notes as they read, drawing pictures in their journals, and writing down anything they want to talk about at our next meeting.

• CRAFT
  We have a craft and snack at each meeting.  The first meeting they decorated their plain white cloth bags and journals.  Other crafts include ocean themed fun, decorating frames with sea shells, making mermaid tails for their dolls with shimmery fabric, filling and decorating small treasure chests.  I am asking moms for either a small craft fee.  If I give them enough notice, they may even have stuff around the house we can use for our craft!

• FINAL ACTIVITY
  Tie in an activity with the last meeting to celebrate the book.  For example, our last meeting will be a day at the aquarium or the beach.  We will also have an underwater themed slumber party.

The girls are reading at home as well as at our meetings and discussing topics. It is very interesting to hear them talk about their feelings on popularity and how they are nervous about fitting in.  I believe it helps them realize this is something their friends are concerned about as well and everyone is a little insecure!

During their craft time, I busy myself in the kitchen and they can talk with each other.  I asked the moms to stay away from the journals or asking too many questions so the girls feel a sense of independence.  Interestingly, the girls are sharing with their moms and each other.

I have to say, so far I have learned so much.  My daughter loves having her friends over.  A few of the “popular girls”  didn’t want anything to do with our book club.  My daughter is not part of the popular  group and I know it hurts, but I also know that is part of growing up.  My job is to build her character and confidence, not making sure she fits in to the popular group.  One of the popular girls heard how much fun we were having and asked me if she could join. The door is always open!  It shows our girls that if we have fun dancing to the music we make, others will see how much fun we are having and may even join in!

Michael Jackson was tortured.  The one abuse there are witness to was that between him and his father.  Michael Jackson’s father was driven and that drive caused him to abuse his child.  A weak mother never saved him.  His career isolated him.  Yes, a tortured soul.

I take issue with Michael Jackson and the people he bought off.  Mothers who sold their children. People who sold their silence.  Doctors who wrote prescriptions.  Family members who turned away from his bad behaviour and took money while their own niece and nephews were possibly abused.

Clearly he was tortured and he continued with that cycle and left behind unanswered questions and lives in chaos.   Maybe he was innocent.  Maybe he was bought off.  We will never know.

What we do know is that there are 3 children left not only fatherless, but quite possibly parent-less.  I pray the same circle of weak people  will find the strength to protect, raise and guide these children.  But I know that the craziness has only started.

Sarah Palin and Todd in office?   Could you even imagine the reality tv show this country would be forced to watch if the Palin family was the VP family?  Sarah, how could you be second in command of the most powerful country if you are going to buckle and take issue with a late night joke?!   Was the joke in bad taste?  Probably. I will give her that.  Was it fair, it is my personal position that jokes about innocent children are never fair.  But that’s not the issue in this blog.  The issue for me is that this tells me that Sarah Palin doesn’t know how to pick her battles.  Are our children important and therefore worthy of a battle?  Yes of course they are!  But if Sarah Palin was the VP she would have faced mammoth battles that involved the livelihood of all Americans.  I, for one, am relieved that she was not elected to such a high position.  To watch her lose her composure on national television when defending this issue was uncomfortable enough without imagining how she would handle herself with a leader from a foreign country when aired?

Again, let me set the table here; Sarah Palin trotted those children out and exposed their personal lives for all to see.  You can’t control the general public and their comments.  Isn’t there anything else going on in Alaska that requires Gov. Palin’s attention right now?  Now she is claiming that David Letterman is contributing to the male perversity of young women!  If this was a heartfelt  issue for her to begin with, where was it on the campaign trail?  Where was this cause when she was a beauty queen and had the forum to speak out about sexual imaging and degradation of women?

I continue to see Sarah Palin as a politician who continues to play the media to her advantage and choosing her battles based on what gets her more face time.  If this was an issue she brought to the campaign trail, she would have had a huge audience and garnered so much attention.  Women are mistreated in many countries and this mistreatment is causing our world to suffer a loss of HUMANITY.

As a mother, I understand her hurt.  As a mother, I would have suffered a great deal if my child were humiliated.  Like a mother bear, I would have protected my cub; by keeping her in the cave while she was vulnerable… not trotting her out in front of hunters!

As an American woman and mother of daughters, I would have loved for Sarah Palin to have defended women when it was a concern for all of us, not just when she felt it was knocking at her door.

Pilar couldn’t wait to give her some home made scones and butter from our colonial history lesson.  She baked and brought her a home made loaf of Irish Soda bread.  Pilar was embarrassed to give it to her because she thought it turned out ugly.  Mrs. Lloyd took one look at it and exclaimed, “It looks so beautiful and rustic, just like you baked in a colonial oven!” We have taken trips…everywhere!  The California Science Museum (photo above), the History museum, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, a California Mission… we turn all these trips into learning opportunities.  She joined a book club for kids her age, I didn’t even know they existed!  We visited her older sister, Anna Maria, who gathers wool and spins her own yarn.  We sat and spun with her all day.  It really brought home what being a colonist went through to provide for their families.  Pilar has read 4 books in one month.  In 11 years of being read to and 6 years of reading on her own, Pilar has never liked to read.  Once the formatted book reports were no longer required, books came alive to her and she loves reading!  We have done several science experiments…3 on one day!  We took pictures and discussed the process of diffusion and osmosis.

I am more  relaxed in my teaching and  proud of my daughters capabilities and skills. As you can see, I have had time to blog!

Sure there are lows.  I am on the other end of every bad mood and temper tantrum.  If I do not reach out for support and ask my husband for help, I get overwhelmed.  I will write a separate blog about the meltdowns and how I didn’t even take my own advice.  Stay tuned!

My 2 older children were involved in the drama program from middle school through Senior year of high school…and that brings a whole bunch of other laundry problems which included, professional grease paint make up, ground in theater grime from construction, blood, both real and fake, (sometimes stage construction did not always go as planned) and often these costumes had to clean and ready to go for the next night’s performance!

Tide detergent has never let me down.  I have never needed a pre-treat for stains, I never need to use more than the required amount and I can always find it on sale.  When I have used another laundry detergents, they have left my clothes dingy, stained and dull.  Even after repeated washings, I still had dingy clothes.   (Wow, do I sound like a commercial or what?!)  With Tide, I wash once and everything looks and smells great.  I never stray from my Tide.   I never have to pretreat, add softener, and re-wash “clean” clothes and that is good for me and my schedule!

Tide Detergent, one of my favorite things!

TIDE’S WEBSITE: http://www.tide.com

Stella got her grove back and Deb feels some dancing coming on!